


Aggresive Feelings of Both Love and Hate

by IvyCpher



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Bad Days, Comfort, Couch Cuddles, Emotions, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 12:09:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20723981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyCpher/pseuds/IvyCpher
Summary: When Virgil and Patton have a string of bad days and their emotions are high, they hide themselves away from Logan and Roman. That is until they start too miss them too much.





	Aggresive Feelings of Both Love and Hate

Most would assume that Patton was the more emotional side out of the group, and well they weren't really wrong when they thought that. He  _ is  _ the manifestation of Thomas' morals and heart. But with Patton pretty much as the poster child for Thomas' emotions, people tended to forget that Virgil was a big part of his emotions too. Yes Virgil is the side that represents Thomas' anxiety, but people forget just how much their emotions can affect their anxiety and vise versa.

To put it in layman's terms, whenever Patton was feeling a particularly strong and negative emotion, his unease and stress would spread to Virgil. And whenever Virgil was having some seriously anxious and edgy thoughts, his unease spread to Patton.

And whenever this happened to the both of them, Virgil and Patton would separate themselves from Roman and Logan. They would go off together into a secret hidden room in Thomas' mind that the others knew nothing about. They would go there and try to get through their mess of feelings together. They didn't want to upset or inconvenience the others, even if they cared deeply for them and Logan and Roman cared for them in return. They just couldn't bring themselves to tell them how they sometimes felt. And they knew it was bad, they really did, they didn't like keeping secrets like this from the other's- their boyfriends. But neither of them ever did anything about it.

And as a matter of fact, Virgil and Patton were having one of those horrible, emotional days at the moment.

Thomas had been having a really bad week, RedBox had charged him $20 in late fees on a movie he had returned on time, he hadn't gotten much sleep because of a neighbor's new dog who barked  _ all night,  _ he spilled grape juice on his favourite shirt, and Netflix had removed one of his favourite TV series that he had been meaning to rewatch. That being said, it was beyond easy for Patton and Virgil to become overloaded.

And when they got overloaded, they snuck off to their secret room at sat on the couch together with tons of soft blankets, and fidget items nearby, and something distracting on the TV.

***

Virgil and Patton sat leaning against each other in their hidden room. Virgil had a heating pad stuffed inside the back of his shirt, and Patton had a body pillow between his legs and was loosely hugging it. Draped over both of them was a large, rainbow afgan. On the TV a random episode of Ouran Highschool Host Club played.

Virgil's had his head resting against Patton's shoulder with his eyes closed. He really wasn't paying attention to the TV or much of anything else, his mind was running and he felt zapped of energy. It really helped being with Patton when he felt like this, but nearly all the time he wished that Roman and Logan were there to convent them too. "Hey, Pat?" He asked above the show.

"Yeah?" Patton asked quietly, turning his head to look at Virgil. His glasses were smudged and his hair was a mess.

"Do you ever…" Virgil sighed and brought his fists to his still closed eyes. He rubbed his eyelids until random, colourful skies danced behind his eyelids. "Do you ever wish the others were here to help us when we felt like this? I mean sometimes.. just the thought of them being around me when I'm like this makes me feel even worse, but right now.. I'd really like them here."

Patton nodded slowly, "Yeah.. I want them here too. But- then we'd have to go through the ordeal of telling them that we need help. Plus we already told them that we'd tell them when we felt like this. They'd.. They'd be upset that we lied." He let out a big breath and tightened his grip on his body pillow. "I don't like lying to them, but I don't want to disappoint them."

Virgil said nothing in a quiet agreement. But after some time of quiet he finally spoke, "I dunno.. I don't want to disappoint them either. But I think they would hate to know that we feel like shit more then they'd be upset about us lying."

"You're probably right.." Patton muttered. "Should- should we ask them to come see us?"

"Maybe we should just allow them to find this place.. I'm sure they're looking for us. I don't want to be vulnerable over the phone, I'll cry."

"Yeah, I don't like doing that either."

And together, they looked at each other and allowed themselves to be found. After a moment they looked away and went back to their snuggling, now wondering when Logan and Roman were going to find them.

The episode of Ouran they were watching didn't even have time to end before they heard a door open. Patton and Virgil both froze and quickly looked over at the doorway to see Roman and Logan walking in together.

"I didn't believe there was anyone unknown places in the mind palace," Logan muttered. "How long has this place been here?"

"Who knows," Shrugged Roman. "Maybe Patton and Virgil are here. I'm starting to get worried about them."

"As am I." Logan said, "Wait there they are!" He pointed at them, finally taking notice of them peeking from the couch.

Patton and Virgil shared an embarrassed look as Roman and Logan quickly moved over to them.

"Oh hey-" Patton waved feebly.

"Yeah, hi.." Virgil glanced up at them and sighed.

In just seconds Logan and Roman where squished besides either of them on the couch.

"Where have you two been?" Roman asked from besides Patton. He grabbed his hands and held them. "We've been looking forever, and worried sick!"

"We knew that Thomas' recent difficulties would be upsetting and went to find you," Logan sat besides Virgil and looped his arm through his in a comforting manner. "But we couldn't find you anywhere, we were almost going to check Remus' room."

"It's like the upside-down in there!" Shivered Roman, "I'm so glad we didn't have to go in there. He always offers Old Spice as a refreshment and it's disgusting."

Logan rolled his eyes at Roman, "What is this place? How come we've never been here before?"

"Well-" Patton started, taking off his glasses to clean them so he wouldn't have to look at either Roman or Logan. "It's Virgil's and my sort.. sort of place, y'know for when.." He bit his lip and cast a quick look over at Virgil.

Virgil rubbed the back of his neck, "For when you feel like you're going to have a breakdown any minute."

For a moment, the only noise was the sound of the TV, but no one was paying attention to it anymore.

"Is.. Is that why you've been disappearing so much lately?" Roman asked quietly.

"You noticed?" Patton asked as he slowly put his glasses back on.

"That you two have been disappearing at least once a week? Uh- yeah.. It's really easy to know when you guys are gone." Logan said slowly. "Why haven't you been telling us when you feel this way?"

"Because.." Virgil groaned softly and pulled at one of his hoodie strings, making them unequal lengths. "Because it's really hard to when you feel like that, you just don't want to talk to people sometimes. Sometimes it's just easier to lock yourself away."

"We were.. Also worried you'd be disappointed in us," Patton clutched his pillow closer to him. "I mean, you wanted us to tell you when we felt like this, and we did for a while.. but it is hard sometimes to ask for help. We know that you're proud of us when we aren't affected by these things and we like making you happy."

Roman and Logan shared a pained look.

"We're not at all disappointed with you," Logan pulled Virgil close to him in a tight hug. "The either you, we love you both unconditionally. It's not that we aren't proud of you for making it through the hard times without cracking, but we're even more proud and happy when- when you do experience these bad things but when you get better after them."

Roman too hugged Patton close to him, there were tears in both of their eyes. "I can't say that I like you two feeling these things, I don't I hate it. But- sometimes stressful things happen, and it's okay to feel stressed!" He sniffled, "If it helps maybe we could think of a code word you can use when you're feeling like this so you don't have to straight up say you're feeling bad. You can just say the word and we'd know and we could comfort you without questioning."

"Yes like a safe word!" Logan agreed.

Virgil and Patton shared a glance.

"That sounds like a good idea," Patton sniffled, wiping away the tears from under his glasses.

"Yeah, but what would it be?" Virgil asked. "It can't be something we say all the time, that might be confusing."

"What about a vine reference!" Suggested Roman.

"But we recite vines all the time, it wouldn't work." Logan said.

"And if I said a vine in a high stress situation I would probably start to laugh but then it would turn into crying." Patton admitted.

After a few more minutes of them suggesting words and phrases that didn't work out, Patton finally said, "What about marmalade?"

"Like the type of jam?" Virgil asked.

"Actually," Logan cut in, "Marmalade and jam are two different things. Marmalade uses the whole fruit while-"

"Why am I reminded of that little British bear movie?" Roman asked, interrupting Logan. 

"Oh yeah! Paddington Bear!" Virgil gasped softly. "I forgot about that movie. But- I like marmalade for our safe word if you like it, Pat."

"Well I did pick it out exactly because it reminded me of that movie and it's so cute," Patton smiled softly. "And yeah, I like it. What about you guys? Lo's? Roman?" He looked over at Roman then down the couch at Logan.

"Yeah it's good." "Yeah it's cute!" They agreed.

And with the means of their word all figured out, both Virgil and Patton didn't feel stressed anymore. They were happy to have things sorted out with the people they loved.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea in my notes forever! It originally started off with just Virgil but I thought it would only make sense if Patton felt the bad emotions too.
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated!!!


End file.
